I dated, but I wish I hadn’t

Dominique Laing

By God’s help we can keep ourselves pure, just as Christ is pure! I wish I knew this when I was a teenager.

Them: “Wow, there’s no dating in your church?”
Me: “No. Of course, it’s different when God brings us to that special person, the one we’re going to marry. But we don’t date around for fun or to try and find a partner.”
Them: “Why not?”
Me: “Why? What good does it do to you? Zero.”
Them: “You can’t know what you’re gonna want unless you try, like, several different kinds of people.”
Me: “No. That’s not how it works. If you let God take control, He will give you the person you’re meant to have. And then it’s good – even if you have bumps and stuff!”

It’s almost funny, hearing myself say these words. Hearing myself on this side of the conversation. You see, I’d certainly done my fair share of dating around before I was married. But after what I’ve experienced in my own life, I’m not afraid to raise my hand and tell people what I think.

You damage yourself, and you damage your relationship with God.

Dating around so much is a world of hurt, and it’s tiresome. You feel like you’re chasing a dream that isn’t there. It’s an exercise in futility. God’s will is that we bond with one person, and when you start bonding with different people when you are 15, 16, even 20, you damage yourself, and you damage your relationship with God.

If you’re not happy because you don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend, try being happy on your own and find out what is actually making you unhappy.  Having a boyfriend or girlfriend won’t solve your problems and make you happy. In fact, you will stay miserable – even if they are a total sweetheart! I can say this because I have been there. It’s actually sin – demands, envy, lusts, pride, selfishness, etc. – that causes unhappiness.

God has a plan for each and every one of us. We are chosen by Him before the foundations of the earth were made – how amazing is that? He has already planned whom we should marry, and He has planned if we should stay single. No matter our situation, God has something He wants to use our lives for. By His help we can keep ourselves pure, just as Christ is pure! I wish I knew this when I was a teenager.

God has a plan for each of us – by His help we can keep ourselves pure.

Since joining this church, I’ve witnessed an incredible group of young people who love God, and serve Him. They trust in God’s leading – that He will show them the “right one” in His time. They live good, productive lives; they use their youth time to bless others instead of living for themselves. And they glow!

I can’t imagine what my marriage would be like without the gospel in the church. Marriage is a tonne of fun, but it is lots of work, and the more baggage you have, the tougher it is. So keep yourself pure! You will never, ever regret it.

This post is also available in: Norwegian Bokmål

You might also be interested in our theme page about Overcoming sin.