How I discovered what truly mattered in my life

“Today is the day.”

Today is the day I woke up with a firm decision … A decision to rejoice and not give in to heavy thoughts.

What was I missing?

Yesterday I had a bit of an emotional day.  My physical illness goes up and down; I have good days and bad days. I had a rather decent stretch of feeling pretty good and then all of a sudden – not so good. Daily tasks take what seems like double the amount of time or more, and some I can’t even accomplish. So yesterday I had a fear that I will not have better days again and that tasks will always be hard for me. I had a feeling of uselessness and no purpose.

So I prayed that I could be thankful and that God could help me to just be happy. He strengthened me to get through the rest of the day, which He always does when I pray. But underneath I felt quite depressed. What was I missing?

I woke up in the middle of the night, as I usually do, but this time I prayed mightily that God would give me a verse that would really help me, because I wanted to be completely free from letting emotions get the better of me. I was sick and tired of it! I wanted Satan to stop putting negative thoughts in my head and I wanted to stop relying on my own strength, because I knew that things end badly that way! I also told Him that I wanted to put all my trust in Him, not just somewhat, but 100%.

A verse from God

And then God gave me this verse: “Finally my brethren, rejoice in the Lord. For me to write the same things to you is not tedious, but for you it is safe.” Philippians 3:1.

This verse filled me with happiness. Now I see that there is a light at the end of my tunnel. What does it mean to rejoice in the Lord? To truly believe and rest secure in the knowledge that He will do a work in me and that I can trust in Him that everything is for my best. That is what brings me great joy! So I promised God today that I will rejoice in Him and trust in Him.

I have a great opportunity here. I am actually incredibly lucky! It is heavy and tedious for me to worry about tomorrow or feel sorry for myself or feel useless. I feel that God has lifted a weight off my shoulders. He has reminded me that listening to Him and trusting in Him is safe. This is what I call peace. And this right here is my purpose in life.

My purpose in life

It doesn’t matter what I accomplish in my everyday situations. If things take much longer to do, that’s OK. I’m not taking my house with me to heaven (clean or not) or my perfectly folded laundry. None of this matters. What matters is that Jesus is my anchor and that I can be perfected just like Him! My purpose is that He wants me right there beside Him one day and all I have to do is listen to Him as my guide and follow Him. I have to use these daily situations to find the things in my flesh that need to be cleansed out and overcome them. That is the whole point! If in these situations I learn peace, rest, patience, longsuffering, etc., then I have accomplished exactly what God wanted me to accomplish in my day! And this makes me extremely happy, not only for myself, but my family gets to experience joy from me.

Another verse that has been a comfort to me is, “I will praise You for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; marvellous are your works, and that my soul knows very well.” Psalm 139:14. God has made no mistakes and made me exactly this way, so that He can accomplish the work in me that needs to be accomplished. These situations are tailor made for me to be conformed to the image of Christ. He really loves me.

And when I wake up in the middle of the night and can’t sleep, I get to use that time to be with my God, and it becomes a very special time. I can pray and I can read in His word and be really strengthened in my spirit. He really is my Best Friend.

“This is the day the LORD has made; we will rejoice and be glad in it.” Psalm 118:24. Today is the day for me. The start of days where I can really rejoice because no one loves me like my dear God and my dear Jesus!