My journey began many years ago when I was in my late teens. I heard a story that had a profound effect on me. A friend told me about a mutual friend who had been diagnosed with cancer. My initial reaction was just to think, “How awful!” But my friend continued to tell me about how God had used the situation to provoke major positive changes in the family; something was completely different about them. God had done a major work in them through this.
The story affected me deeply and really lit a fire in me. Over the years it has come back to me again and again, and I always experienced a sort of “awakening.” It was interesting, because their story didn’t really pertain to me at all.
20 years later
Fast forward 20 years. Our 16-month-old son Sebastian was struggling with some major undiagnosed health issues. Eventually he was given a hard to accept, very complex diagnosis. So complex that even the best of the best in this specialty had no answers.
At that time he had a G-tube placed in his tummy and was on full nutritional support from his tube feeds. The most allergenic medical formula wasn’t working. His body rejected our last resource for food for him and he was failing to thrive.
And what should come back to me once again when we were dealing with all of this? Of course that story that had always had such an impact on me. Finally I understood why I couldn’t let that story go. Now was my opportunity to believe that God would use this to do amazing things for us!
We were told that our life would never be the same. And it certainly was different, but not in the way we expected. Along with the story that had painted a picture of how this new time in our lives could go, this verse came to me:
“But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in My name, He will teach you all things, and bring to your remembrance all things that I said to you.” John 14:26.
We weren’t on our own. We had the Holy Spirit to guide and navigate us through this.
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I had a choice to give into fear and panic; to put my trust in men and their ideas. Or, I could trust in what God had given me years ago, and trust that He has His hand over it all.
I held fast to unshakable trust in God and ran from fear. The definition of fear is: “An unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or a threat.”
So if belief in fear causes unpleasant emotions like stress, worry, anxiety, anger, etc., then belief in the opposite – which I believe is trust – must cause peace, reassurance, rest, joy, etc.
I don’t like math, but I love “God math!”
I discovered that I can be going through something which seems like it should be so tough, but still be in complete rest!
“Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13.